If Liked Seto Kaiba
by DarkRandomWriter
Summary: This is a one chapter series where different characters from Yu-Gi-Oh! and some fangirls declare their love to Seto Kaiba. However, his reactions aren't what they want. Each chapter is seperate from the other; they are individual stories basically.
1. Yami

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! characters, any fangirls that may appear later on or the song "Making Christmas" in the Nightmare Before Christmas…even though that won't appear in this. _

If Yami Liked Seto Kaiba

Seto Kaiba sat in his office sorting out the last of papers. Work had been stressful today, and school hadn't been better. After Yugi and his band of cheerleaders had bothered him by asking him to be their friends, except the Mutt of course, Yugi proceeded by refusing to duel him. The actual school work wasn't hard, and his teachers left him alone. However, he felt that he was missing something important in his life. Something that was never there before…

"Mister Kaiba?" one of his lackeys asked, slightly opening the door. He cautiously held the door open hoping that Mr. Kaiba wouldn't do something to him.

Without looking up from his computer and papers, Kaiba asked dully, "What do you want now?"

"Well you see, Mister Kaiba-"

"Did you pick Mokuba up from school?"

"Yes, but-"

"And drop him off at my place?"

"Yes, Sir, however-"

"Then I need you no more for today. You may go," Kaiba said, turning his chair around to face the window that was behind him. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes expecting to hear the door shut behind him. However, that did not happen.

"Mister Kaiba? Some person is here to see you. They said it was an urgent matter," his lackey said, shuffling his feet as he looked down at the ground. He knew it was a foolish move, but the person said that he had to see Kaiba immediately.

"I don't care who it is, I want them thrown out immediately! Can't you see I'm busy-?!"

"But Sir, it is your arch-nemesis, Yugi Muto-"

"Why didn't you say that earlier, you idiot?! Let him in," Kaiba ordered, still facing the window. He chuckled to himself thinking of how this could be the day, the day he finally beat him.

Soft footsteps walked across the room, barely making a sound. Kaiba smiled to himself as he said, "Yugi, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this." He spun around and saw Yugi on his desk leaning across it; his face right in front of the other's. However, this was not Yugi leaning across the desk. It was much worse. Kaiba blinked hoping that this wasn't real.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this either, Seto," Yami copied, except his was seductively. His elbows were on the desk so that his fist could prop up his head. With his legs crossed behind him, we looked as though he wanted to-

"What do you want, Yami?" Kaiba snapped, feeling irritated that Yami was acting immature. "Did you come here to man up by dueling me or to annoy the hell out of me?!"

"Neither, Seto," Yami replied calmly, twirling a piece of his hair. "I came here to tell you something."

Kaiba's eye twitched out of annoyance as Yami laid there playing with his hair. This was ridiculous, and he was going to end it now. "If you came here to tell me something, then say it and get the hell out of my office!"

"Well, if you must know…" he added acting sedative as he leaned across the desk towards Kaiba.

Kaiba's eye twitched furiously as he drew closer and closer. 'What the hell is he doing!?' he thought as he clenched the sides of his chair.

"Kaiba, you are damn sexy, and I want to make sweet monkey love with you," Yami breathed, winking.

"Okay, what drugs are you on?" Kaiba asked wanting to slap Yami into making sense.

"Oh come on! I'm trying to be honest with you, and all you can do is ask if I'm taking drugs!" Yami cried outraged. "I thought you were a gentleman, but all I see is a guy who has no balls!"

Kaiba couldn't see why Yami was insisting on putting up this charade. And besides, the whole idea of Yami liking him was disgusting. And what was up with the whole balls comment!? That made no sense.

"I'm going to count to three, and when I do, you better be out of my office. If not, I will call security. Got it?" Kaiba hissed through his gritted teeth.

Yami glared at him. "I can see when I'm not wanted! But first…" He leaned over and kissed Kaiba on the lips, one hand behind Kaiba's head. Breaking away with a seductive smirk on his face, he jumped off the desk and ran for the door. At the door, he cried back, "Don't worry, Seto, we'll have our feisty sex next time!" Giving him another wink, he ran off.

Kaiba sat there dumbfounded. Did Yami just kiss him!? There was only one thing Kaiba could do…"SECURITY!!" he yelled out, making the whole building shake.

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If you want to be one of the people who confesses their feelings to Kaiba (no promises on kissing though. ;D), then say it in a pm or review. Please review! And it will hopefully be better next one!


	2. Anzu

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! characters, any fangirls that may appear later on or any song references… Comments are after the story._

* * *

If Anzu Liked Seto Kaiba

Seto Kaiba walked down the deserted hallways of his high school, Domino High. Usually, he wasn't the last one in the building since he had work to go to. Unfortunately, after arriving to work, he realized that he forgot one of his textbooks. Even though he wasn't the smartest kid in school, he couldn't let one homework assignment ruin his reputation.

Closing his locker after retrieving the book, he walked back to the exit; however, he was surprised to hear footsteps as well as his own.

Now, Seto Kaiba doesn't go crazy, so he knew that he wasn't alone. He doesn't hear random footsteps indicating insanity.

Turning around, he was slightly surprised to see no one there. "Hello, Kaiba…" a voice breathed behind him.

Facing the person, he was slightly surprised to see Anzu standing behind him, bending slightly forward in a provocative way.

"What do you want, Mazaki?" Kaiba asked, annoyed that he was being held up. He had to get back to his office, and this wasn't helping him at all.

"You," she giggled, batting her big eyelashes.

Wait a minute, were those fake eyelashes? Kaiba had more knowledge than to ask if those were fake. Unlike the Mutt…he actually had manners.

"I beg your pardon?" Kaiba asked, stepping away from her in order to get a clear view of the door. Even though he was not the kind to sprint down the hallway, he was willing to do it in order to get away from her.

"You heard me," she replied seductively, putting her hands on his chest. "I want you and your sexy body."

Removing her hands, he sneered, "Even if you were serious, you could never have me." Moving her aside, carefully, he said over her shoulder, "Go back to dreaming of dating the Pharaoh." He started walking back down the hallway towards the exit.

Unfortunately, he didn't get too far.

He was pinned down on the ground with Anzu leaning over him, her chest too close to his face. Who knew she was able to do that? Maybe the dancing training did help, he thought sourly.

"You won't get away that easily," she spoke calmly, fire in her eyes. I will get what I want, and that is you."

Kaiba smirked and asked coldly, "What, no friendship speeches?"

"Who needs friendship when I can get a greater prize?" she asked, placing her lips on his jaw. "What you need is a woman who can satisfy every part of you, even your cold heart."

"Too bad my 'cold' heart has no place for you," he snapped, moving him off of her. Standing up, he dusted himself off and headed for the exit.

Still on the ground, Anzu cried, "I could charge you for harassment! And then you'd have to give me everything you have! You will be mine, Seto Kaiba!"

Kaiba stopped walking and laughed darkly. "You couldn't win with that reasoning. Face it, Mazaki, you'll never have me because I will never like you. In fact, you're just plain annoying. Go back to your cheerleaders and forget this ever happened, and I might consider dropping charges against you." He walked through the exit and to his limo.

He was driven back to Kaiba Corp where he worked diligently.

Meanwhile, Anzu was still on the ground, cursing under her breath. Cackling evilly to herself, she looked up and screamed, "I will get you, Seto Kaiba! And then you will be mine!"

TBC

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A/n: Sorry it wasn't as funny. I think ones with boys will be funnier just because Kaiba will be more appalled. Plus, I wanted Kaiba to be cruel.

Journey Maker: Thank you for the Favorite Story and Story Alert! Haha! I'm glad you found it funny! Sorry the update took a while! I'll try to update more often.

I like angst: Thank you for the Story Alert! Haha! I'll try to do most of the characters! I'll even do Mokie (I know how I'm going to do his…)! Thanks for reading!

Lady Guadalupe: Thanks for the Story Alert! Sure, I'll write you a chapter! :D It'll be later on, but I'll do it! I know, that's why I'm making him reject everyone since most people are actually rejected! Thanks for reading!

MILFORS98675309: Thanks for the Favorite Story and Story Alert! Haha! I hope tis random in a good way!

Amane Misa: Haha! I like the idea! I'll do it when I do Mai confessing her love for Kaiba! xD Glad you like it!

Kukki Boo: Yay! I'm glad you think tis weird but awesome! Haha! Thank you so much!


	3. Dartz and His Gooneys

Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh, any of the characters, or the song " " by

_Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh, any of the characters, or the song "Why Can't I?" by Liz Phair._

Please read the comments after the story for some explaining.

If Dartz Liked Seto Kaiba

Seto Kaiba sat on his king-sized bed typing away at his computer trying to finish up so more work for the day. Why did Seto Kaiba have such a big bed if he was the only one who slept in it? Well, he had enough money to buy one; plus, he always thought that they were more comfortable than those cramped beds he used to have to sleep in at the orphanage.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he rubbed it as thoughts of his childhood flooded his mind. He always hated it even though Mokuba seemed to think those were some of the best times of their lives.

'Please, if those were our "golden years", then why do I always hate thinking about it? We had nothing…'

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a knock on his front door. Muttering, he slowly got up out of his bed to open it. He descended the staircase, and he frowned when he opened the door, slightly surprised when he saw Dartz standing there. "What is it?" he snapped.

Dartz stood there holding something behind his back. Awkward seconds flew by until Dartz finally called over to his right side, "Let's do this!"

Kaiba stepped back as Dartz's henchmen, Valon, Rafael, and Alister, stepped forward. Each of them was holding an instrument whereas Dartz held a microphone.

'Fuck no…'

The melody began, and Kaiba's ears started to hurt as they three gooneys started playing off beat. However, that was the least Kaiba was about to endore.

_Get a load of me, get a load of you  
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you  
It's just like we were meant to be_

Holding hands with you when we're out at night  
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right  
And I've got someone waiting too

Kaiba felt his ears bleed as Dartz's high pitched voice sang off key. After this scarring experience, Kaiba wasn't sure if he ever wanted to hear someone sing again…__

It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch  
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch  
But wouldn't it be beautiful

Here we go, we're at the beginning  
We haven't fucked yet, but my heads spinning

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

Kaiba felt one thing most certainly: nausea. While Dartz sang his heart out, Kaiba stepped inside his house in order to find something. This would make his pain go away.__

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about-

Before Dartz could finish his "lovely" song, Kaiba came back out and shot them all with a bazooka. He heard them screaming in pain, but he didn't care…this was payback for the torture they brought to his poor ears.

Mokuba stood by his brother, watching him destroy his foes. After Kaiba had finally obliterated them, Mokuba blinked as his big brother cackled silently. "Big brother…" he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"What, Mokuba?" Seto asked back, a smirk spreading across his face.

"Not that I didn't hear some of that, but what happened?"

"Well…Dartz and his henchmen decided to visit us tonight and cause me to writhe in pain. Their reason, well…it wasn't their previous reason-"

"Was he gay?"

"Mokuba!"

"What? Everyone knows what it is…"

"Still. Now go to bed; it's getting late," Seto grumbled as he ushered Mokuba inside the mansion.

"Seto, I have one more question," Mokuba said, looking up at his brother.

Usually, Kaiba would say no, but seeing Mokuba's sad face, all Kaiba could say was, "What is it, Mokuba?"

"Won't you get in trouble for destroying Dartz and those other three?"

Kaiba chuckled darkly. "Oh, Mokuba, that's a silly question." Mokuba stilled looked confused and concerned, so Kaiba added more. "I own the law. Now go to bed, Mokuba," he said as he closed his front door behind him.

DRW: I wrote that these…4 got killed so that I don't have to write about anyone of them in this series again. Um…no offense to you who do, but I really didn't like Season 4 much, so that's why I tried to kill 4 birds with one stone. :) I have no idea who will be next, so I'll leave it to be a surprise. (Oh, the reason I used a bazooka was because this morning I was thinking about how much I hated Serenity and wanted to shoot her with a bazooka, but I thought this would be funnier.)

**Thank yous:**

Kukki Boo: Thank you for adding this to your Story Alert! Yea…Anzu was psycho! Let's be thankful he was sane, but I wonder if he lost it after this one. ;)

Even Glore: Thanks for adding me to your Favorite Author and Author Alert! :D Also, thanks for adding this to your Story Alert and Favorite Stories! Haha, I'll do a Bakura one later probably, but I'm glad you liked that quote! I enjoyed it myself. xD Thanks for the support!

MILFORS98675309: Haha, glad I got it right (even though I don't recognize it…). Yes, let's be proud of Kaiba everyone who overcame the crazy Anzu! Haha!

Atrum Tempestas: Thanks for adding this to your Story Alert and Favorite Story List! :)

Naruto106: Thanks for adding this to your Favorite Story List!


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